Comparing Yourself is a Waste of Your Time

Unless you reside under a rock, you are probably around people on a consistent basis. These characters may have a successful career, a family, financial stability (or freedom), fame, a good support system, many friends, good looks, a significant other, material wealth, or love. If you are on the internet, they could have “followers, subscribers, likes, friends, and comments.” Of course those are just a few examples of what people may have in their lives. As technology evolves, it is now easier than ever to compare our circumstances to someone else by just a click of a mouse or keyboard. So the question then becomes, Why do we put so much emphasis on a life that is not our own? There are so many reasons why we compare ourselves to other people. For many, we do it out of insecurity. We place a judgement on our own lives because we see other people who have what we want in life.

When I was younger, I used to question why others had it so much easier than me. Why was it easier for them to make friends? At school, how do classmates study for an hour and ace a test but when I study for three hours, I flunk? Why do students not get bullied or made fun of like I do? How are they any different from me but I get a label stating that I am the weird one? How do people know what they want to do with their lives but I have no idea what I am even going to wear tomorrow? While those high school kids went off to college, graduated, and started their new careers, I was in and out of a local community college. I changed my major on four separate occasions. As kids grew into adults, marriages started occurring which lead to babies being born. A community I had grown up with, now had additional chapters being written in their book, while I was still on section one. I started to resent others for the life they were living because they seemed so much happier and knew what they wanted to do with their existence.

Comparing does not always involve material things or the way someone thrives. When we compare ourselves, we can also over analyze appearances. Many times when I looked at another woman, I told myself, “Whoa. She is so much prettier than me. No wonder I am not in a relationship if that is what I have to compete with.” Men are not excluded from this either. Recently, I encountered a man who became jealous of a male co-worker because a woman did not find him to be as attractive as the guy he is envious of.

It has taken me years to finally stop comparing another person’s journey to my own. The same can be said about examining myself in contrast to a woman’s outward image. I have realized that my time on this planet is not meant to be like that of another. Analyzing myself over what another girl looks like or their lifestyle, only brings negativity into my world. Inevitably, it brings in the feeling of resentment which will just take me off my path even more because I am not focused on moving forward. I am an individual who has her own ideas, thoughts, feelings, expectations, and goals so why should my experience resemble another human being. Every inch of my life has been a fight. Every time I think I am going somewhere, I end up taking a giant step back. So I get back up one more time, only to face another obstacle in front of me and the cycle continues. I may get frustrated and impatient but I know the grief surrounding my situation will be worth it in the end.

In order to break this cycle of negativity, it all starts with your attitude involving your own course and the way you think about yourself. I think we need to be accepting of ourselves, first and foremost. Accepting that we are all unique in our personality, body types, and the roads we walk down on. Then the next step, is to start encouraging each other for their accomplishments or in their struggle. I think it is comical when we see only the joyful times in a person’s life but we never see the hardships behind closed doors. We never think that they battle too because we do not see it in reality. Though, we all have our trials. If we start focusing on being more of an encouragement or happy for someone else, then it will reflect back onto our own livelihoods. Think about it this way. If you put negativity out there, you will most likely get negativity back but if you put positive energy out, the world will give it in return. I suppose that is what karma is all about? It may not make sense to you now but please believe, that it does work.

I truly do have faith that everyone who is born in this world, holds a specific purpose in their soul. Some may know what it is and may be fulfilling it now as you are reading this. Others may still be searching for theirs. Wherever you are on this expedition, remember that we all have our own timing. Some individuals get their faster while others need to learn a few things before they reach that first destination. Do not be discouraged by your own life. Grow and learn from it. As the saying goes, “With age comes wisdom.” Finally, I find this quote below to be inspiring. It may help someone gain a different perspective on where they currently are in this crazy odyssey we are on.

“I know people who graduated college at 21, and didn’t get a salary job until they were 27.

I know people who graduated at 25 and already had a salary job.

I know people who have children and are single.

I know people who are married and had to wait 8-10 years to be parents.

I know people who are in a relationship and love someone else.

I know people who love each other and aren’t together.

There are people waiting to love and be loved.

My point is, everything in life happens according to our time, our clock.

You may look at your friends and some may seem to be ahead or behind you, but they’re not.

They’re living according to the pace of their clock, so be patient. You’re not falling behind, it’s just not your time.”

– Julissa Loaiza

It’s in You

You are the lightning bolt that electrifies the veins

The chaos of a hurricane

You are the fury of a hail storm

A tornado that rages on

You are the tidal wave of a vast sea

A rainbow after a downpour

You are the strength of a blizzard

The heat of a wild fire

You are the rush of a wind gust

No one can steal your thunder

You are the thunder

Scared Straight

Have you ever stared at death in the face?

Being moments away from having your brains displaced?

With a man’s finger on the end of a trigger

One push away from your soul going into space

He says he loves you

But there is no embrace

A girl cries on the floor,

Waiting for the sound of the bass

For reasons I will never unlace,

He begins to cry too

During the disgrace

My first love, this memory I have

Can never be erased

A case of depression during my race

So you decided to have me stare at death in the face

The National Domestic Violence Hotline Website

The National Domestic Violence Hotline Phone Number:

1-800-799-7233
1-800-787-3224 (TTY for Deaf/hard of hearing)

Note: The National Domestic Violence Hotline Website and Phone Number are not owned by me.

Used

Close your eyes

Open your thighs

Piece of meat

Ready to eat

He whispers, your body is sweet

I feel cheap

You have taken an innocent heart

Not knowing that her heartbeat stops

You have cheated yourself on getting to know the human being

While your fingers are too busy sightseeing

Is that all that I am to you?

Just a body aimed to please

Ripping my clothes off by the seams

Getting off on what you see

Then you leave

Young Soul, Never Give Up (Girl Version)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number: 1-800-273-8255

Young soul, I pray you never give up.

Though your day may be grey, please do not go astray.

You have much to live for with a purpose only you can portray.

Rainbows can’t be displayed if there is no rain

Break free from the chains of people who leave you strained

What they lose is another person’s gain

Let the makeup that has run down your beautiful face leave a stain

The pain you’ve endured will build your strength

Helping you to reign

There are people who care

Who understand your worth

That have yet to be unearthed

You are not alone in this fight between the light and the night

The sight of the mountain’s height can give you such fright

Though when at it’s peak, you will find flight

I know it’s hard to cope when you’re walking a tightrope

But please believe me when I say, there is hope

There is more to this galaxy than anyone can comprehend

Lend me your hand so I can help you off this ledge

Rather than face the end

It will take time but I promise your heart can mend

You are important

You are loved

Let these words be your friend

Side Effects of Social Media

What happened to the days where life was not lived behind a screen?

Too busy looking at social media to stop and enjoy the scenery.

Now this generation bullies by way of tweeting, commenting, and posting obscenities

As that child cries at night wondering, “Why are you so mean?”

While another kid ponders if they should end their life at the age of fifteen.

So unfair of what the internet can do, like letting another adult easily criticize and judge you.

Where are the words of encouragement and love to help us through?

Why must we compare ourselves to those who have not lived in our shoes?

Their lives; so seemingly happy without an ounce of residue.

Such beauty that exudes envy across many who wish they could look like that too.

But what thousands do not understand is what may be seen in front of you is not always the truest of views.

If only we knew the imperfections behind the pictures of what these people drew.

Yet we seek validation from those same persons, hoping to prove that we are of value.

And this is what our children see throughout the years leading up to their adult debut.

Why do I need acknowledgement from you?

Our worth cannot be based on those who have no clue.

Even if you do not get the reaction you pursued, more than likely, it still got looked into.

It is easy for us to be misunderstood, when our words can get twisted more than they should.

Than our true intentions are hindered because what we say is made into a falsehood.

Making us out to be no good.

©WildRiverRebel 2017

 

Battle Cry

Do you hear my battle cry?

Longing for the ones who have said goodbye.

Yelling out in anger and despair for I just want one more lullaby.

Yet all I can ask is why?

Why take the people who mean the most?

That’s like shooting down the soul and cooking it til it’s burnt toast.

Walking in and out before getting too close

As they turn into ghosts.

That’s what I am used to no matter the coast.

So I have learned to keep my distance.

Than no one will get hurt, not knowing my existence.

Too scared because someone may show resistance.

Do you hear my battle cry?

I long for the support of an ally.

Where me as a person can’t be denied.

So how do I defy this insecurity of mine where I no longer hide?

For if my pride gets in the way no one will ever come to my aid.

And I will have lived a story that only fades.

Maybe if my struggle is conveyed,

I may be able to help someone in their crusade?

But if I seek to end the dismay, I am more likely to be betrayed.

I want that feeling of the past to continue its decay.

This is my battle cry.

The battle of “Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde.”